Couple’s therapy often comes with a stigma that the marriage is already doomed and past the point of no return. While this may be the case for some couples, often time, the opposite is true. The fact that a couple is willing to take that first step in order to make the marriage better is usually an encouraging sign.
When does a marriage warrant the help of a professional? There is no right answer as every person and couple is different. The reality is it could be any time. There is always room for improvement, not only as individuals but in partnerships as well. The following are a few instances where you may want to be proactive about attending couple’s therapy:
- If the idea of couple’s therapy has ever crossed your mind, then that alone is a great indicator that you should be proactive about seeking outside help. Speak with your spouse about what your concerns are and that you think an outside opinion could be beneficial.
- If divorce or uncertainty for the future has ever been the topic of conversation, it may be an indicator to seek help. Relationships have their ups and downs and some of those downs last a little longer than others, but if you both want to make the marriage work, there is still hope.
- If you have a constant feeling of dread, anxiousness and resentment when your partner is around, that is a clear sign. Coming home and wishing your spouse wasn’t there or feeling uneasy about seeing them is a huge red flag. We all cherish some moments alone, but if you are always wishing you weren’t spending any time with your spouse then those feelings should be addressed.
- If you stop considering your spouse when making decisions or going about your day, he or she has clearly stopped being a priority and that can lead to bigger issues in the future.
- If your kids, friends, other family members, etc. are more of a priority than your spouse. It is time to take a step back and reassess the things that are most important to you.
Couple’s therapy is not something to be ashamed about. Many marriages benefit from having an outside perspective to help sort out issues that you may not even realize are there. However, if all of the above holds true with you and you don’t want to work on the marriage, then it may be time to revaluate what it is that you want out of your life and the future, possibly without your spouse.