Lack of communication and financial stress are two major issues that can put a lot of strain on a marriage. If these important issues are not addressed, they can ultimately lead to unhappiness in the relationship and possibly divorce. There are also the “three A’s” that can occur in marriages that can become the breaking point for a spouse. The “three A’s” are: Abuse, Addiction, and Affair.
Abuse can come in several forms, including: sexual, physical, verbal and emotional. Forcing a partner into unwanted sexual practices is more common in marriages than one would expect. Just because you are married does not mean that you should feel like you must engage in something you are not comfortable with. If you are pushed into any unwanted situation, it could constitute abuse. Physical abuse can range from grabbing, hitting, and shoving to much more extreme cases. Verbal and emotional abuse involves, among other things, shouting, cursing, belittling and restricting someone’s personal liberty. While all forms of abuse can be a reason to seek out a divorce, sometimes they can be corrected and addressed with appropriate professional help and assistance. Often there is success if the abuser seeks counseling on his or her own, addresses the anger issues, and/or is willing to engage in group counseling to heal the marriage. If this is not the case, it is often in the best interest of the abused person to escape from a toxic and possibly life-threatening relationship.
Addiction is a complicated issue to understand and sometimes people sympathize with the addict. Drug and alcohol abuse creates a toxic environment for the spouses and family. While one spouse can try to be supportive with the matter, if it is not resolved, there comes a tipping point where one spouse cannot deal with the behavior any longer, especially if children are involved. If the person with the addiction is willing to get help, then there can be a light at the end of the tunnel for the marriage.
Affairs can also have a detrimental effect on a marriage. One spouse may have engaged in a physical affair. The thought of your spouse being physically intimate with someone else can be devastating to the relationship. These days, with social media so easily accessible, one spouse can engage in an emotional affair as well. While each type of affair can carry certain emotions and consequences with the other spouse, both can be just as damaging to a marriage. Just as is the case with addiction and abuse, getting professional help and counseling for the parties involved can help to heal the marriage.
Abuse, addiction, and affairs can be detrimental to any marriage, sometimes resulting in a divorce. However, if both parties truly want to save the marriage, counseling can help to resolve all three of the problems. The one thing to keep in mind is that it will take time.