Work on your Marriage or get a Divorce?

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The younger generation often gets accused of calling it quits when married life gets too difficult. It’s not uncommon for older generations to frown upon young couples getting divorced rather than “sticking it out” and making it work. While it may be true that some couples quit without trying, some situations truly warrant a divorce. Typically, a divorce is a last resort when all other methods to save the marriage have failed.

Marriage is difficult. It requires a lot of sacrifice, effort, and compromise from both spouses. When one or both spouses stop trying, the marriage can begin to fall apart. If working on your marriage and mending the relationship is what you really want, then you need to be proactive. Speak to your spouse about what it is that you want to change or improve upon in the relationship. If you are unable to come up with a resolution on your own, couples therapy may be beneficial.

Life’s stressors can make or break a marriage. Going through a struggle together may bring some couples closer together, whereas some situations may put too much stress on the relationship and trigger the downward spiral towards divorce. Infertility, finances, unemployment, a death in the family; even the rollercoaster ride of raising children can bring on a whole new burden that is difficult to handle. If these matters are not addressed together, resentment can build up and cause a spouse to question the marriage.

A spouse can become withdrawn if he or she is living as though “life is greener on the other side.” It can be easy to miss the single days and the butterflies and excitement that come along with meeting someone new. Marriages can easily fall into a routine where life becomes stale and seeking that new exciting feeling can be enticing. If this is the case, work with your spouse and make that extra effort to make things fun and fresh again.

Most importantly, ask yourself if you still love your spouse. If the love is still there, the marriage is certainly worth fighting for. Even if you feel like maybe you love your spouse, but you aren’t in love them, it might be enough to fall back in love again. If you get to the point that you believe that the love is not there anymore and you have made every effort to save the marriage, that may be the time to think about going through with a divorce.

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